CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL CHER GALLERY BY GARRY BRANDON

By Ritzy Sparkles

Artist: Cher

Date / Venue: Friday September 21st, 2018 - Spark Arena, Auckland

Last night I had my first Cher-gasm. It was unexpected.

Vegas-level sequins, mechanical elephants, epic montages and interpretive horse moves made for a magnificent evening’s entertainment that my head is still considering what to do with and my face is still smiling from.

Our seats were epic. We arrived halfway through the pre-set and already the vibe was at 11. DJ Andrew McClelland dropped It’s Raining Men and the place went freaking nuts. We were advised that Cher needed another 8 minutes. No problem. Play more Disco!

And then I saw her face, now I’m a Cher-liever. Gilded, festooned with sequins and rocking headdress and wig combos that would require neck support for mere mortals, Cher proceeded to take us through a slick set heavy on hits, history, crowd banter & humour.

I was utterly mesmerised. Weirdly my brain kept making comparisons to the level of lurid gold seen on Oscar Nights & Scientology videos and was internally naturally alarmed. But joy managed to prevail on this most wonderful of evenings. Cher truly was a sight to behold. We believed. Her performance was almost flawless as she effortlessly balanced singing, singing with a Sonny in a frame, headdresses and the occasional well-timed boogie in some cutting it way close ensembles.

No matter that at moments the sound mix went awry, as the sheer visual onslaught was like a magnetron beam. We counted 16 different costume changes that generally went with a musical and dance interlude and some of the finest montage work put to screen. At one point my friend announced (after a particularly fine montage) ‘We need to straddle more chairs!’ In the moment I believed this should be a new metaphor for life.

The dancers were incredible. To have your belief in reality suspended when dancing Egyptians pulling shapes with shields takes some effort. They supported Cher with skill, technique and what seemed boundless enthusiasm.

The musicians mostly stayed in the background, however at one point the very metal guitarist let rip with some sonic riffs and things got a little late 80’s/hair metal, but just for a moment.

Spare a thought for the incredible professionalism, back stage support team and the logistics it must take to deliver a show of this polished calibre.

Thank you Cher, thank you for a wonderful evening.

Cher plays one final Auckland show tonight at Spark Arena - limited tickets via Ticketmaster